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 Sewing Machines on WHFR, Wednesday, August 8, 9PM 

Liveblogging the 53rd annual Grammy Awards

8:01 PM - The show starts out with a tribute to Aretha Franklin. The person announcing each singer as they begin their solo portions of the tribute is awkward and ruins the entire performance.

8:20 PM - Yes, it took this long to get to the first award of the night, Best Pop Duo or Group. Train wins. Gross.

8:22 PM - Ricky Martin's pants! Holy shit!

8:27 PM - Lady Gaga's performance did not impress. For an artist that is supposed to be "cutting edge," just having your dancers get pseudo-naked is simply not enough.

8:29 PM - HP commercial suggests that Lou Reed really needs money.

8:39 PM - Muse will always be asked to play the same song at every awards show. Well-respected band turned into one-hit wonder.

8:49 PM - Bruno Mars, B.O.B, and Janelle Monae together singing "Nothin' on You" (a little more epic than usual). Nothin' wrong with that. Bruno Mars goes solo on "Grenade," but three join forces on Monae's "Cold War" (Mars on drums, B.O.B. on guitar).

9:05 PM - Bieber fever! Four more years!

9:08 PM - Justin Bieber has Mortal Kombat characters as his drummers and dancers? WTF?

9:13 PM - Jeff Beck looks terrifying. Best "Rock" Album category doesn't rock whatsoever. Muse wins for being the closest to actually "rocking" among the list of nominees.

9:21 PM - Gaga wins Best Pop Vocal Album. New leather outfit is no meat dress, but here's hoping it upsets PETA!

9:30 PM - Bob Dylan is so old...and someone initially forgot to turn on his microphone (perhaps that was for the best; they should've kept it down in the mix).

9:44 PM - Kings of Leon presenting Best Country Album? That seems somewhat ill-fitting despite their explanation.

9:45 PM - Stop thanking God. Please.

9:46 PM - Fuck You! Too bad they can't say it. Love the puppets! Cee-Lo has got a better outfit than Lady Gaga. She must be so embarrassed.

9:58 PM - Katy Perry does one of her more boring songs. Bleh. Come on, pep it up!

10:00 PM - Spoke too soon.

10:02 PM - John Mayer, Keith Urban, and Norah Jones deliver a performance out of nowhere. This wasn't hyped or built-up before hand. It just sort of happened. Weird.

10:06 PM - "Fuck You" loses Song of the Year to "Need You Now?" No forgetting way!!

10:13 PM - Rihanna picks a better dress for this performance than she picked to walk the red carpet in. As far as I can tell, Eminem dropped some profanity during "Love the Way You Lie."

10:19 PM - They really need to invent tape delay technology that cuts the microphones but not the music.

10:21 PM - How did Justin Bieber lose Best New Artist? Esperanza Spalding? WTF? If he won, it would've made the perfect alternate DVD ending to Never Say Never.

10:25 PM - You know that narrative about how the Grammy Awards are out of touch? Yeah, this year isn't helping change that...

10:28 PM - The teacher from Glee is releasing a solo album? Seriously?

10:32 PM - A lot of these "In Memorandum" folks look old in the archival footage! It's amazing they lived this long!

10:35 PM - Mick Jagger follows all of the folks who died this year. Are the Grammys trying to tell him that he's next?

10:50 PM - Why couldn't Nicki Minaj perform instead of Barbara Streisand?

10:59 PM - Rihanna is a rather busy woman at this Grammy celebration. Drake also gets a prime spot for the second year in a row. It's also sort of creepy to see the kid from Degrassi getting grinded on.

11:04 PM - "Need You Now" for Record of the Year too? Seriously? Ugh.

11:13 PM - Arcade Fire perform at the Grammy Awards. Is this their attempt to be forward-thinking? If so, they feel like five years (or more) late.

11:23 PM - "What the hell?" Arcade Fire win Album of the Year.

11:25 PM - Is there precedent for an encore?

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